Heyyy.
Wow, we're here.
The end of 2020.
It wasn't the vision anyone of us imagined but AlhamduliLah (Praise be to God) we're here.
We survived & that's the biggest win.
This particular newsletter would be long, it is the last one for the year, afterall and I really hope you enjoy it.
(Remember to “View entire message” because this was too long for Gmail)
(I'm writing this at 1:54am because I can't sleep & I hope I at least get this done so I count it as a win for my night)
I thought a lot about what form to do this review. Ran a poll on Twitter to help.
The final results
As you can see, it was a close one.
Then my next challenge, how do I write this? A monthly overview? Or answer some insightful questions shared by Ali Abdaal? (He recently vexed me so I threw this idea in the bin) Or use some popular people's formats?
After a lot of thinking, I decided to review based on areas of life.
I set my goals for 2020 & created my lifebook in this format so it makes sense to review the year this way.
Me setting 2020 goals with 10 other amazing humans. We literally had no idea what 2020 was going to be.
Areas of life:
My health and fitness
My intellectual life
My emotional life
My character
My spiritual life
My love relationship
My social life
My financial life
My career
My life's vision
My quality of life
There is 1 other area that I didn't feel was necessary for this newsletter (My parenting - Not yet a parent so doesn't apply?)
My Health & Fitness.
I started off great here. I made a goal to lose X kg & generally be healthier in January. The first 3 months in school (Unilorin) were great. I was making slow progress & I was truly happy. But Covid lockdown happened, I moved back home (Lagos) & shit has been hitting the fan since then.
Food has always been an (unhealthy) coping mechanism for me. And this year has stressed me, my God. From the uncertainty and fear of Covid, to dealing with the aftermath of my parents'divorce to being confined to staying indoors with not enough sunlight for monthssss.
Anyway I'm pretty sure, I gained all I lost in Jan-March + some extra. God epp me.
So in the coming year, the plan is to find healthier coping mechanisms & reset my fitness goals.
Rating: 4/10 ⭐
My Intellectual Life.
This area of my life thrived this year!
I learnt a whole lot. My best year yet.
I invested HEAVILY in learning. Omo, I don't want to add up all the thousandssss of naira (& dollars) I spent on coaches, online courses and programs.
My most expensive investment was MBT (a program by Steve Harris) but I've learnt sooo much and gotten connected to experts in various fields. This is an investment that is still compounding & I'm grateful I made the investment.
Books? Books. I read 100+ books this year (my goal was 200 books) Still a win though.
Rating: 9/10 ⭐ (Keeping the 1 because there's always more to learn)
My Emotional Life.
This year was exhausting. My singular goal in this area for the year was “be more mindful of my emotions & self"
Did I work on this? A little but so many things happened and my emotions were often over the place.
I didn't process a lot of my emotions. In my previous newsletters, I talked about loneliness & dealing with the collective trauma of #EndSars.
I think the biggest incident that affected my emotions was my parents' divorce. I was angry at many things, I still am. Not at them getting divorced ( this was the best outcome tbh) but everything else surrounding it. And I haven't processed this anger. I'm holding on to it and I fear that it'll one day explode.
Sigh.
The second biggest thing would be loneliness. I tweeted about this a day ago.
I'm not sure how to fix this loneliness. I do know that it'll require vulnerability and courage & I'm honestly not sure if I have the strength for these two things.
In the coming year, I plan to improve the quality of the friendships I already have so let's see how that goes.
Rating: 5/10 ⭐
My Character.
My goal for this area of my life was vague. I just wanted a “good character".
I did write that I would practice the sunnah (tradition) of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) but I wasn’t specific how exactly.
Was my character good this year? I'd like to think so but who knows 🤷🏾♂️
Rating: 6/10 ⭐
My Spiritual Life.
This year was a rollercoaster for my eeman(faith).
One moment it was high & it felt like I could taste the sweetness of faith & another moment it was so low that I didn't even feel like a Muslim.
Also, this year's Ramadan wasn't it at all but I signed up for Visionaire Ramadan & this helped a lot.
The two Eids weren't very exciting 🤧
I really had to internalise that “we plan and Allah plans & He is the best of Planners” this year.
I recently signed up for Arabic & Hifz classes & AlhamduliLah, they've been really helpful (even though I'm struggling with consistency)
ps, if you're interested in these classes, just reply this so I can direct you to where you can sign up, okay?
Rating: 5/10 ⭐
My Love Relationship.
Nothing much to write here. Still looking for the halal tech bro. If you happen to know one, you know what to do😁
Rating: 4/10 ⭐ (Should be 0 but because I got uber clear on exactly what I want to myself, I'll give myself a 4)
My Social Life.
Lockdown and being in Lagos affected this area of my life, a lot.
I had two goals for this area,
Making meaningful friendships
Finding a good tribe.
I made some new friends on Twitter but they're not yet as meaningful as I want them to be. I also joined some amazing communities, ma sha Allah.
Created two too.
I'm very proud of the LFJ Tribe. Growth has been slow but slowly but surely.
If you're Muslim & you're interested in being the best version of you in this dunya & the next, you can join us here. It’s free but our one rule is that you're active :)
~ I think family can also fall under this area.
Can't live with them, can't live without them pretty much sums it up.
I have a love-dislike relationship with my sisters (I think this is normal?) & we had our fair share of arguments. Living together for 8months+ will do that.
This has made me realise how much I love living alone and just being in my own space with nobody telling me what to do, when to do or how to do it.
Oh well.
Rating: 6/10 ⭐ (the loneliness is still a factor in this, otherwise this rating would be higher)
My Financial Life.
I had 3 goals for this area of my life -
Save Y on Cowrywise
Be financially prudent
Make X dollars.
I only hit goal 3.
I didn't hit goal 1 and 2 because:
I realise that I need to change this mindset, lmao so I signed up for a financial intelligence course.
I overcame some of my limiting beliefs with money though so that's a win?
Here's to me making better financial decisions in 2021.
Rating: 6/10 ⭐
My Career.
I feel this area is divided into the traditional & not-traditional path I've created for myself.
• Traditional.
Still in school so this path is just starting. I got into Physiology 200L in January. I talked about my struggle with uni in this podcast episode.
My one goal here was/is to be a 5.0 CGPA student. ASUU has been on strike for about 8 months now & I haven't even finished exams from 1st semester (which is very infuriating)
Also, I'm halfway done with studying Psychology at the International Open University & it's been amazing. Definitely learning a whole lot about psychology and other things like aqeedah, fiqh & arabic.
•Not-Traditional.
I started One Thriving Life , a coaching service in June and from then till now I've taught 1,000+ young adults on topics ranging from self-awareness, effective time management, ending procrastination & goal-setting. I've also worked with 30+ clients on their personal development journeys to selfmastery with amazing results.
I got a job as a content creator/social media manager for an amazing Muslim brand. We ended my contract this December & it was a really nice experience. Learnt a lot about customer care, sales, marketing and creating content on a scheduled basis.
My bookish brand, The Muslim Bibliophile launched her bookclub for the second year with 70 members. I'm very proud of the marketing I did for this. It was hard & out of my comfort zone but 70 people? That's higher than the number of people who signed up last year.
Pretty sure I did some other things but I actually can't remember 😅
Rating: 8/10 ⭐
My Quality of Life & My Life's Vision.
I don't usually set goals in these areas. I just check my lifebook and ensure that the goals for the other areas of life are in line with them.
So the overall rating here is 6/10 ⭐
I acknowledge & I'm grateful for my privilege when I say this year was okay for me.
But it could have been better.
I'm allowed to cut myself some slack because of all that happens this year though.
So AlhamduliLah.
Some Big Highlights of 2020.
My friend, Nana got married. The only wedding I attended this year. Really really happy about it but I still have a hard time believing it, loool. It is cementing the fact that I'm no longer a child in my mind & I'm not sure how I feel about this. Excitement, yes but also fear. The years are going by too fast.
Hosting a masterclass with my coach, Steve Harris. It was amazing!! And it's not me just saying this 🤭
Applying to be a team member of the conference committee for NC Abuja (an AIESEC national conference happening in January) & getting in! This really made me happy. Thankful to my AIESEC buddy, Nurudeen for the push!
Getting support for One Thriving Life from my AIESEC mentor, Mr Niyi Adeyemi. This was so heartwarming, to be honest. I told him about the coaching service on a whim & he was supportive with words of encouragement & bringing 2 clients my way.
Starting this newsletter in September (I think?) I want to thank you dear reader for always reading and (sometimes) sharing your feedback and thoughts about what I've written.
Being better friends with Toyyibah. She's been such a darling & I'm happy to have her in my life 🤍
Hanging out with Maryam and Abdulrahman before lockdown started. Who would have thought we wouldn't see each other since then?
Getting paid in Dollars & Pounds.
My conversations with people like Aishah Adams, Aboo Faaris, Aaisha Muhammad, Abdulhameed, Toyyibah, Yesir, Zainab I, Safee Peters & The Othman.
Joining the Ness Labs community. The founder gifted me a one-year membership (just from Twitter) & it's one of the best communities I've ever joined. The community is full of amazing thinkers & doers and it's all so very inspiring.
Planning a hangout with Ridwan Ganiy. We connected online from last year's Lessons from 2019 & could plan a hangout before even meeting offline. It was fun.
All small things but I'm really grateful for them. If there's anything 2020 has taught me, it's to be appreciative of the smallest of things.
20 Takeaways From 2020.
(It's currently 5:10am and I'm exhausted. This has taken longer to write than I expected. Let's see how far I'll go )
Nothing is certain. As a Muslim, this ayah has never been more apt “we plan & Allah plans. Verily He is the best of Planners”. Make plans but be fluid & open to changes.
Death can come anytime. How many young people have died ? Some from Covid, others just going to bed & not waking up. We always think we have time. But we don't. Not really.
Love loudly. Appreciate people before they're gone. This is something I've been intentional about. Using words of affirmation & gifts to love the people important to me.
Be a person of value. Whether in your business or with your friends or mentors or on the big bad internet, be a person of value.
Many times, you don't need the permission you think you need to do something or be whoever you want to be. (It's also easier to apologize than to seek permission)
Shoot your shots. Don't be afraid to ask. The worst answer you could get is a No but then you could get a Yes. ( I shot a shot at Salem King half expecting a No, got a Yes & it felt really good)
The magic of compounding. Read my friend, Mariam's article here
Slowing down IS good. We're always moving,moving, moving. Slowing down can be very good.
Our biggest failures can be our biggest strengths.
Learn to outsource work that doesn't bring you joy, if you can afford it.
The joyyy of 2x speed. I watch videos and listen to podcasts at this speed. It's amazing how much time one can save when doing this + it's a fun challenge to your brain.
Routines are uber-important. I recommend having a fixed morning & evening routine that focuses on specific areas of your life. Absolutely game changers!
Affirmations work > ( & this isn't aspire to perspire stuff. There's a whole discipline on how the things we say to ourselves have a huge impact on our behaviour & actions)
It's a crime for you to keep things to yourself. Your knowledge. Your expertise. You're basically depriving the world of what you have to offer.
The internet is one of the best inventions ever made. Likee, actually take a moment and think of ALL that's possible because of the internet.
Always start small. In the words of Steve Harris, there's always a small size to your big idea.
Shawarma is still the best thing since well, shawarma. I recently had a voice chat on Telegram with someone on TRC group about shawarma & it was wonderful talking to someone who understood that it's not just shawarma.
YouTube premium is bae. Signed up for that this December and it's amazing! The best features for me are No Ads + Playing in the background.
Paying for apps is a necessary evil . I'm currently paying for Zoom, Apple storage, Google One, YouTube Premium (when the free 30day trial expires). Before this year, I had only paid about ₦710 for lifetime access to an app called Forest (for pomodoro when studying) so paying for 4 apps now on a monthly basis feels somehow 😅
Hurt people hurt people.
Dua is IT. Whatever you want, always ask Allah because He listens & is always ready to respond.
Good food is >>>> (lmao, part of why I didn't achieve my fitness goal)
Having your fun is important. My idea of fun this year was reading books & binge-ing kdramas & watching Grey's Anatomy. My latest obsession is Bridgerton but I'll respect myself in this newsletter & not say more than that.
(I fell asleep after writing point 9. It's 9am now & I'm back writing. I have to do market runs + cooking & some other chores though. I cannot help but wonder when this will get to your inbox)
So that's it, 20 (+3 bonus) takeaways from 2020.
And, lastly some recommendations.
1. Set goals. They're really helpful to measure progress in the areas of life you want to work on.
(Me plugging my workshop happening today)
Make payment to 0305368590 GT Bank & send me a confirmation message here
2. Invest in mental health care for 2021.
Hauwa Ojeifo & the amazing team at She Writes Woman recently launched Safe Place, an online community for mental health support.
You get:
✅ Daily access to mental health professionals
✅ Insightful conversations
✅ Mental wellness resources + self-care toolkits and more.
Safe Place is like insurance but for your mental health.
For as little as ₦5,000 per quarter & ₦10,000 per year, you get access to these and MORE.
Please register for Safe Place here & if you genuinely can't afford it, you can apply to get sponsored here.
3. Be intentional about your personal development.
Join my free resources group here. I share resources I come across online to help you with your personal and spiritual development.
4. Do the things that bring you joy (halal, of course). Work hard, be excellent & try to leave your dent in the universe. How would you want the world to remember you by? (World here could mean the people around you)
5. Subscribe to these newsletters-
Hameed's Newsletter - He is a fantastic writer and his goal is to reach 1,000 subscribers before the year ends. I'm jealous of this goal, by the way but he deserves it so please subscribe!
The Soul Sisters Network Newsletter - A virtual home for sisters to impact, inspire and be intentional. Created by two friends who are passionate about success in deen & dunya. Their latest letter articulates better some of the lessons I learnt from 2020 here.
Am I Ready for 2021?
Honestly? Not really. Preparing for 2021 is in two parts for me -
° Reviewing 2020
° Setting goals for 2021.
With this newsletter, I've done the first. Later tonight at my Goal-setting workshop, I'll begin to set my goals for 2021 (That's why you should sign up, we'll set goals together + be accountable to each other throughout 2021)
But I have renewed my intention to be more consistent with my Arabic & Hifz classes and I've committed to communities like Women of Tadabbur & Ness Labs.
I also know that my theme for 2021 is 'Mindful Execution & High Performance’ (Invested in some resources from Brendon Burchard for the High Performance aspect & I'm superrrr stoked!)
I've also been playing around with the idea of launching a podcast/YouTube channel in 2021. Please take this poll to let me know what you think.
Results of the poll, so far.
Thank you!
°°°
I feel like there's a lot more to say but I'll end this newsletter here.
If you read up to here, I appreciate you, thank you so much 🤍
I'll also like to hear from you. I've shared so much in this letter & it's only fair you share something with me, yes?
Share one thing you resonated with in this letter. I'll really like to hear from you.
Also, please share this with family & friends 😊
If you haven't subscribed to the newsletter, whatever are you waiting for?👀
May Allah preserve our lives until 2021 & beyond.
Until next time,
Lots of love,
N.
This newsletter was epic! I just got around to read it.
May Allah replenish your loss, increase you in Barakah and bless you to live an amazing life. Aameen.
JazakhAllah khair for the mention. I am deeply honoured!
Here again! Couldn't drop a comment after reading yesterday. Lol.
I think you did a good job with your year review and I love the memes..hahahaha. Also love the takeaways, wishing you a better year ahead!